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2015-08-28 > 2015-09-10
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HomeArticlesOpinionCompro o que é mais barato, sou Pobre...

Compro o que é mais barato, sou Pobre...

Everyone’s up in arms over the Government’s latest austerity measures but, looking at them from a different perspective, they really aren’t that bad at all.
Bruno Filipe Pires, Edition 653 (19 Oct 2011), No Comments »

In fact, the Government’s plan is very well worked out - right to the last detail! Let’s give you a perfect example: the price of bottled water is going up (incurring more IVA). Let’s face it, what’s wrong with that?

It’s a luxury product, after all! Just like jewellery or gold fountain pens! Drinking fountains with fresh water are freely available on almost every corner in Portuguese towns and villages - alternatively, we could buy a plastic container from the local Chinese shop, fill it with tap water at home (so good for the bones!) and carry it around all day. Frozen food, tinned goods and pre-cooked meals are also going up – but doesn’t that mean the crisis is truly an opportunity to change our lives for the better?!

People with limited cash can’t waste it on eating too much tinned tuna anymore. They’ll have to become more creative – healthier even. They could start eating bones (lots of calcium there!). And who needs frozen food in a recession, anyway? Lots of us will soon have so much time on our hands (once we’ve lost our jobs) that we’ll be able to prepare food the old-fashioned way. Coffee’s been hiked up too (to the maximum IVA rating: 23%) – and bosses whose businesses are still running applaud the fact as it will deter employees from popping out for a bica during working hours.

Not only that, coffee’s bad for you! This way the Portuguese can let go of a terrible national habit! Meantime, they can continue drinking wine as much as they like (it’s not being affected by any IVA increase – nor is beer. If beer went up, there’d be riots in the streets!).

At home austerity is also a very good thing. With cooking oils going up (also to the 23% IVA rating), children will have to make do with less chips – and with Coca-cola only on holidays (Christmas won’t count as most parents have lost their festive subsidy). Little ones will also have to go without yummy milk-filled desserts – and how wonderful is that!

Less sugar in their blood, less cavities in their teeth! And they’ll learn at a tender age that making sacrifices for the common good, and pulling the country out of financial deficit, is for everyone (no matter who is really to blame!). As to that extra half hour of work demanded by the Government, things are really not that clear. Anyone who works in the private sector is used to working way more extra hours than that. Perhaps then they’ll be charged with giving up some of their sleep to the Government? Or their day’s off?

One day, when (or possibly if) we ever get out of this hole, the Portuguese people will start being more careful over the politicians they choose. Until then, we’ve got to cope with what we’ve got, or emigrate…

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